You’ve been a resident of coupleland for a while now and, while you and your partner have not necessarily fallen out of love – hence, you still sticking together – you have lost some of the all-important sizzle.
You’re not all too happy about that. Neither is your significant other. You may or may not have touched on this topic in a convo. Not necessarily with each other.
Am I right or am I right?
Fret not, dear friend, I’ve got you.
Here are the deets on several surefire ways to bring back the romance to a relationship that may be lacking it.
The everyday hustle and bustle and about a million different factors may have contributed to the fact that you and your partner have lost that touchy-feely vibe you had at the onset of your relationship. Even if you never were the perpetual canoodlers, odds are, you probably had more physical contact (and I’m not talking about sex, that’s a whole other ballgame, peeps!) than you are right now.
Make a conscious decision to end that pattern. This. Very. Second.
Make sure you start and end the day with a cuddle, a smooch or any other form of contact that feels right. A soft rub on the arm while they’re speaking and the ultimate winner: a reassuring kiss on the forehead, should be used on the daily!
You get the idea.
Doing this on the daily would be fun for some, but super-annoying to others. Instead, find a balance that suits you and your significant other but make sure you sprinkle your relationship with some fun surprises that will, ultimately, bring you both joy.
The spectrum of potential ideas is endless, really. It can be the good, ol’ sexy post-it note you leave on the pillow next to them, which will be the first thing they see when they wake up. Put in the extra effort and write them a love poem. No worries if you’re no Shakespeare, it’s the intention that’ll do the trick.
Tickets to a romantic weekend destination away are always a good idea. But a super-personal, thoroughly thought-out surprise on a much smaller scale that will not necessarily put a humongous dent into your savings account, may be your safer bet.
Also, surprises that happen for no reason whatsoever and are not tied to a milestone event, such as a birthday or an anniversary, are the best kind. The best. And most memorable.
This needs to come organically and I certainly don’t suggest you put any sort of pressure on yourself to enforce this action. Otherwise, it may actually achieve the opposite effect.
The idea here is to make a conscious attempt to focus on the details that make you value your partner and appreciate your relationship. With them. This one comes in really handy when the spotlight falls on a particular thing that makes you not so crazy about your partner or a segment of your union. This can be a feeling (perhaps they give the world’s best foot massages and you’re the lucky recipient of this master craft) or something utterly superficial, like the way they look when they sport nothing but a bath towel on. Whatever gets your motor running in the right direction, hop onto it. And enjoy the ride. Again and again, if possible.
If yours is the type of union where you and your partner are joined at the hip and are rarely spending some quality time apart, well, this could be what is killing the fire, darling.
While making sure you’re together-time is spent in a fruitful and meaningful manner, the time you spend apart is just as important, when it comes to keeping things healthy and on track. In fact, it may do more for some common issues, such as trust, co-dependence and other such notable romance-crushers.
Do stuff on your own. Make sure you are happy while doing them and are getting what you need out of the activities you do solo. Once you’re fully recharged in that respect, you may choose to share those good feelings with your partner, when you rejoin them. Not at the hip, though.
The whole date night while in a long-term relationship movement is actually, as common as it may seem, a darn lifesaver! Or, should I say, a relationship saver? Maybe both? Right.
It’s not about whether you spend enough time together. It’s about about having that night (a week, a month, whatever you can manage) that’s etched into your planner as the special slot for just the two of you. Whether it’s dinner and a movie, drinks’n’chatting or a role play adventure you’re both game for, hey, it’s suuuuper necessary and megaaaaa welcome!
Should the night end with a some frisky time in the bedroom (or another place of your choice!), it’s up to you two lovebirds to decide. Just make sure you’re deciding as often as possible.